Bryan W. Alaspa 1The greatest holiday
October 25th 2009 20:26
For me the best holiday of the season is the one that, generally speaking, involves the least amount of work. I don’t understand people who spend days and weeks decorating their homes. I see no purpose in such a thing when, really, you only get a short time to enjoy it. The enjoyment versus work ratio just doesn’t cut it for me.
I know people who spend almost a year preparing their Halloween costume. They then spend hours sewing or crafting some kind of clothing and then maybe more time in a woodshop to create props or things that flap or whatever. They spend hours and hours on these things to then….what? Wear them for a few hours and then toss them into a closet forever? Don’t tell me it’s fun because that much work for so little use just cannot be fun. If these people would turn their attention towards building fuel-efficient cars or curing diseases, maybe we’d all live in a better world.
Then again, I am an impatient man. I hate cooking because, well, I just want to get on to the eating. This is why my diet consists of things heated up. If the instructions call for mixing more than two ingredients together, I am out. My stove hasn’t been turned on in about two years.
I also don’t understand people who spend days, weeks, maybe even a month decorating their home for Christmas. Then again, I live alone with my dog. The only people who would see any Christmas decorations we put inside the apartment would be me and the dog. My dog doesn’t show any interest and, really, I have no desire to stare at blinking lights in my own home. If I want to see them, I can visit someone else. Again, there is just too much work involved for a display that lasts too-short a time.
There are people who clamber over their rooftops and up and down their walls. They have life-sized figures ice skating or building snowmen. They have lights beneath displays and things that move and make noise. All of it is just too much work and then you have to take the damn things down. If you are one of those people who leaves your decorations up until April, shame on you, by the way.
I also hate the fake holidays. The most ridiculous one is “Sweetest Day” which is just an obvious ploy created by card and candy and flower companies. They were not satisfied with creating “Valentines Day” which is a holiday I loathe with an all-consuming passion that scares me. I also think Halloween is more of a fake holiday than a real one. To me, a real holiday involves a day off at least. What kind of holiday involves wearing a costume and begging for candy?
Christmas is also just too crazy. There is never enough money and, more than likely, you are still in debt from the previous one. Sure, there is a lot of feel-good stuff and I love winter, but the holiday itself has become relatively meaningless as I have gotten older.
No, for me the greatest holiday sits in November here in the United States. It’s called Thanksgiving and it is about three things that are the greatest things in the word: family, food and football. OK, if you want to get technical, the day is a lot of work for the person who has to prepare the meal, but beyond that, it is not about buying gifts, not about decorating, no one comes to your door begging for a turkey leg and you just get to spend time with your loved ones and then passing out on the couch. It’s just the greatest thing ever.
Plus, the holiday is a national one that cuts across nearly every social and religious tradition. How great is that? It’s a holiday totally un-encumbered by ridiculous religious mumbo-jumbo and silliness about it being “under attack” from anyone, what a wonderful thing. How glorious.
I know people who spend almost a year preparing their Halloween costume. They then spend hours sewing or crafting some kind of clothing and then maybe more time in a woodshop to create props or things that flap or whatever. They spend hours and hours on these things to then….what? Wear them for a few hours and then toss them into a closet forever? Don’t tell me it’s fun because that much work for so little use just cannot be fun. If these people would turn their attention towards building fuel-efficient cars or curing diseases, maybe we’d all live in a better world.
Then again, I am an impatient man. I hate cooking because, well, I just want to get on to the eating. This is why my diet consists of things heated up. If the instructions call for mixing more than two ingredients together, I am out. My stove hasn’t been turned on in about two years.
I also don’t understand people who spend days, weeks, maybe even a month decorating their home for Christmas. Then again, I live alone with my dog. The only people who would see any Christmas decorations we put inside the apartment would be me and the dog. My dog doesn’t show any interest and, really, I have no desire to stare at blinking lights in my own home. If I want to see them, I can visit someone else. Again, there is just too much work involved for a display that lasts too-short a time.
There are people who clamber over their rooftops and up and down their walls. They have life-sized figures ice skating or building snowmen. They have lights beneath displays and things that move and make noise. All of it is just too much work and then you have to take the damn things down. If you are one of those people who leaves your decorations up until April, shame on you, by the way.
I also hate the fake holidays. The most ridiculous one is “Sweetest Day” which is just an obvious ploy created by card and candy and flower companies. They were not satisfied with creating “Valentines Day” which is a holiday I loathe with an all-consuming passion that scares me. I also think Halloween is more of a fake holiday than a real one. To me, a real holiday involves a day off at least. What kind of holiday involves wearing a costume and begging for candy?
Christmas is also just too crazy. There is never enough money and, more than likely, you are still in debt from the previous one. Sure, there is a lot of feel-good stuff and I love winter, but the holiday itself has become relatively meaningless as I have gotten older.
No, for me the greatest holiday sits in November here in the United States. It’s called Thanksgiving and it is about three things that are the greatest things in the word: family, food and football. OK, if you want to get technical, the day is a lot of work for the person who has to prepare the meal, but beyond that, it is not about buying gifts, not about decorating, no one comes to your door begging for a turkey leg and you just get to spend time with your loved ones and then passing out on the couch. It’s just the greatest thing ever.
Plus, the holiday is a national one that cuts across nearly every social and religious tradition. How great is that? It’s a holiday totally un-encumbered by ridiculous religious mumbo-jumbo and silliness about it being “under attack” from anyone, what a wonderful thing. How glorious.
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