Bryan W. Alaspa 1The Chicago Baseball Thing
June 14th 2009 17:47
Chicago is definitely a sports town. Chicagoans love to act like idiots and put way too much emphasis on a silly game played by over-paid adults. I am the same way, however. I am a baseball fan and a football fan and even a hockey fan these days. I am a fair-weather basketball fan, and I am not afraid to admit that.
When a Chicagoan is born they are immediately handed a few things. They are given a Chicago Bears jersey and a football. They are then asked to decide if they are a Cubs or a Sox fan. For those of you who might be living under rocks (a sensible thing given the current economic and political climate) those are the two baseball teams in town. Depending on what side of the city you live in, some guesses are often made.
I am an example of how those guesses can be wrong.
Most Cubs fans are on the north side of town. Most northsiders get all misty-eyed and weepy when talking about the crumbling disastrous hole known as Wrigley Field. For some reason cramped seats, peeing in a trough and not having parking anywhere near the location of the game is appealing to these people. Of course, this is just the first sign of the serious mental illnesses inherent in the Cubs fan’s mind.
Cubs fans live in a constant world of delusion. They somehow have managed to kid themselves into believing that a century of losing has somehow made their team “loveable.” They also seem to feel that if they keep filling the stadium despite the fact the team is losing this somehow makes them better fans than the more practical people on the other side of town.
My uncle turned me into a White Sox fan. To many of my family this is a greater sin than had he just beaten me with a belt and left me an invalid for the rest of my life. As far as I am concerned, he opened my eyes to the true baseball team in this town.
Sox fans, I feel, are more practical. We don’t get all misty-eyed about an uncomfortable crumbling wreck of a stadium. At the same time Sox fans demand winning. If the team is not winning, we don’t feel it is justified to spend our hard-earned money going to the games. We can be miserable, and drunk, at home. So, when the Sox lose, the stadium is empty. When they win, we give them our money and show our support.
Sox fans don’t fine losing “loveable.” We find it “embarrassing.” This season, it looks like the Sox are going to truly suck. Which is fine, because that means us Sox fans can move on to watching other things, catching up on our TiVo and maybe spending time with our family. Cubs fans are still clinging to some desperate hope that their team will still be good this season and will lose countless hours with their children watching hopelessness.
Last season the Cubs barreled into the playoffs and everyone thought they would go on to win the whole thing. The Sox limped in. However, the Sox had to win a playoff just to get into the playoffs and then managed to win one game during the actual playoffs. The Cubs got swept. So, tell me which team is better?
Anyway, the cross-town match-up is coming this weekend. It’s like the Civil War around here. The sides are facing off. Both teams are dreadful this season, so this may be the only highlight of the year. If Chicago suddenly burns to the ground this week, you’ll know why.
Oh, and Sox fans! You have one of your own deep within enemy territory here. Let me know if you need any spying done or sabotage. Thanks!
When a Chicagoan is born they are immediately handed a few things. They are given a Chicago Bears jersey and a football. They are then asked to decide if they are a Cubs or a Sox fan. For those of you who might be living under rocks (a sensible thing given the current economic and political climate) those are the two baseball teams in town. Depending on what side of the city you live in, some guesses are often made.
I am an example of how those guesses can be wrong.
Most Cubs fans are on the north side of town. Most northsiders get all misty-eyed and weepy when talking about the crumbling disastrous hole known as Wrigley Field. For some reason cramped seats, peeing in a trough and not having parking anywhere near the location of the game is appealing to these people. Of course, this is just the first sign of the serious mental illnesses inherent in the Cubs fan’s mind.
Cubs fans live in a constant world of delusion. They somehow have managed to kid themselves into believing that a century of losing has somehow made their team “loveable.” They also seem to feel that if they keep filling the stadium despite the fact the team is losing this somehow makes them better fans than the more practical people on the other side of town.
Sox fans, I feel, are more practical. We don’t get all misty-eyed about an uncomfortable crumbling wreck of a stadium. At the same time Sox fans demand winning. If the team is not winning, we don’t feel it is justified to spend our hard-earned money going to the games. We can be miserable, and drunk, at home. So, when the Sox lose, the stadium is empty. When they win, we give them our money and show our support.
Sox fans don’t fine losing “loveable.” We find it “embarrassing.” This season, it looks like the Sox are going to truly suck. Which is fine, because that means us Sox fans can move on to watching other things, catching up on our TiVo and maybe spending time with our family. Cubs fans are still clinging to some desperate hope that their team will still be good this season and will lose countless hours with their children watching hopelessness.
Last season the Cubs barreled into the playoffs and everyone thought they would go on to win the whole thing. The Sox limped in. However, the Sox had to win a playoff just to get into the playoffs and then managed to win one game during the actual playoffs. The Cubs got swept. So, tell me which team is better?
Anyway, the cross-town match-up is coming this weekend. It’s like the Civil War around here. The sides are facing off. Both teams are dreadful this season, so this may be the only highlight of the year. If Chicago suddenly burns to the ground this week, you’ll know why.
Oh, and Sox fans! You have one of your own deep within enemy territory here. Let me know if you need any spying done or sabotage. Thanks!
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