Bryan W. Alaspa 1Surviving the 20 year high school reunion
September 6th 2009 21:11
So, this weekend was the infamous Luther High School North class of 1989 20 year high school reunion. I knew it was coming, but the last few weeks have been tense as the time approached. What would it be like? Would people really be glad to see me or would some old tensions suddenly erupt? Would people be spending their time comparing where everyone is compared to where they were and passing some kind of judgment on how I had lived my life?
Well, thanks to two friends of mine, named Amy and Karen, somehow the whole event went off and it was an absolute blast. People that I barely spoke to throughout my years at the high school would come up and throw their arms around me and yell “Bryan!” I reconnected with some good friends I have no spoken to since graduation. I even built a few bridges to people for whom I thought I would never build a bridge.
What I discovered is that everything everyone had been telling me all this time was absolutely correct. You see, when you are 15 or 16 or really anytime during those teenage years, you are completely insane. All of us are when we are that age. All of those hormones raging through the bloodstream while you strive to find your own identity and strike out on your own, just makes you completely insane. I was insane, and so where the people around me. It’s a wonder we all made it out alive.
So, none of us today are the people we were back then. We have all grown up. We have all moved on. We have all experienced ups and downs and yet, here we were, together again, all with shared memories and still alive. We had gone through so much together back then, and had gone through so much in the interim, but now we were together again and we were still alive and, quite frankly, that was worth celebrating.
Needless to say this entire experience has been a profound learning experience. I discovered that carrying some kind of hurt feelings around for twenty years is about the most bone-headed, outright stupid thing a man can do. I wonder now, why I never bothered to try and reconnect with the guys I had so much resentment for a long time ago. How selfish of me to hold them as they were all those years ago and not come to appreciate the men they have become now. Isn’t that just as bad, if not worse in some respects, than someone judging someone else all of those years ago and making fun of them? They have earned the right to become better people and I sure as hell should let them have that right and accept them as they are now.
I had other friends who I knew would not show. They said they didn’t care about the people they went to high school with and they didn’t want to know what they were up to now. They felt the people there never cared about them all of those years ago and likely wouldn’t now. I discovered that no matter who you were and who they were, you remembered each other just enough to care and to laugh and to have fun.
I hope each and every one of my former classmates finds that thing that gives the happiness. I hope they find contentment and joy in their lives. I hope that we can all gather together again, perhaps in smaller groups between official reunions, and enjoy each other’s company. I hope that we are all there, still celebrating, still laughing, still smiling and glad to see each other, in another ten, twenty, thirty years from now.
Because it turns out it isn’t about showing off where you are now, or trying to show anyone up. It’s about having the joy of knowing you are still alive, and that you made at least some impact on someone else’s life. That’s a good thing and each and every one of those people, including those who couldn’t make it last night, made that impression on mine.
For that, I will never be able to say thank you enough.
Well, thanks to two friends of mine, named Amy and Karen, somehow the whole event went off and it was an absolute blast. People that I barely spoke to throughout my years at the high school would come up and throw their arms around me and yell “Bryan!” I reconnected with some good friends I have no spoken to since graduation. I even built a few bridges to people for whom I thought I would never build a bridge.
What I discovered is that everything everyone had been telling me all this time was absolutely correct. You see, when you are 15 or 16 or really anytime during those teenage years, you are completely insane. All of us are when we are that age. All of those hormones raging through the bloodstream while you strive to find your own identity and strike out on your own, just makes you completely insane. I was insane, and so where the people around me. It’s a wonder we all made it out alive.
So, none of us today are the people we were back then. We have all grown up. We have all moved on. We have all experienced ups and downs and yet, here we were, together again, all with shared memories and still alive. We had gone through so much together back then, and had gone through so much in the interim, but now we were together again and we were still alive and, quite frankly, that was worth celebrating.
Needless to say this entire experience has been a profound learning experience. I discovered that carrying some kind of hurt feelings around for twenty years is about the most bone-headed, outright stupid thing a man can do. I wonder now, why I never bothered to try and reconnect with the guys I had so much resentment for a long time ago. How selfish of me to hold them as they were all those years ago and not come to appreciate the men they have become now. Isn’t that just as bad, if not worse in some respects, than someone judging someone else all of those years ago and making fun of them? They have earned the right to become better people and I sure as hell should let them have that right and accept them as they are now.
I had other friends who I knew would not show. They said they didn’t care about the people they went to high school with and they didn’t want to know what they were up to now. They felt the people there never cared about them all of those years ago and likely wouldn’t now. I discovered that no matter who you were and who they were, you remembered each other just enough to care and to laugh and to have fun.
I hope each and every one of my former classmates finds that thing that gives the happiness. I hope they find contentment and joy in their lives. I hope that we can all gather together again, perhaps in smaller groups between official reunions, and enjoy each other’s company. I hope that we are all there, still celebrating, still laughing, still smiling and glad to see each other, in another ten, twenty, thirty years from now.
Because it turns out it isn’t about showing off where you are now, or trying to show anyone up. It’s about having the joy of knowing you are still alive, and that you made at least some impact on someone else’s life. That’s a good thing and each and every one of those people, including those who couldn’t make it last night, made that impression on mine.
For that, I will never be able to say thank you enough.
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Comment by Mr Nice Guy
Pop Culturist
Pop Rock Factory
Without going into too much detail - this man was both genuine and well spoken - not an inch like the fellow I'd recalled from all those years ago.
What's more - he had no idea that so many students had pegged him as being a tough guy - perceptions - huh?
All in all - ours too was a blast - the faces may have wearied a little, the bellies just a little more inflated and the laughter lines just a lilttle more proounced - but given that we spent the best part of our daylilght hours together ever day for (up til then) almost half our young lives - it is something I'll never forget.
Comment by Leo Linder