Bryan W. Alaspa 1Some things guys should just not do
August 16th 2009 19:24
It just seems as if, somewhere along the way, it became acceptable for men and women to dress alike. I guess this is some step along the way to equality among the sexes. I am all for things like equal pay and equal opportunity, but there are some things that should just stay as they are and were always meant to be. For the most part, men should not wear women’s thing and, generally speak, women should avoid men’s fashions. Of course, there are exceptions, so let’s just agree we are speaking in generalities.
The one thing that, in particular, stands out as something men should avoid as if their very lives depending upon it, it would be wearing anything that exposes their feet and/or toes. Men, you do not have attractive feet. Let me say that again in case you are skimming and did not read that word-for-word: MEN, YOU DO NOT HAVE ATTRACTIVE FEET! No, none of you. Not a single one. So, my advice is, no flip-flops, sandals or anything that might reveal your nasty, ugly, dirty, gnarly, hairy toes.
Women take pride in their appearance and that extends from the hairs atop their head down to their very toenails. Women go out and get pedicures. They paint their toenails. They spend time with their feet, grooming them and being nice to them and making them look like things you might want to wear in a sandal or open-toed shoes. Men have no such patience. What men are is lazy and so they just take their feet in whatever condition they are in and stick them in a pair footwear that shows off their toes no matter how awful they look.
I have been out and seen a man standing around in sandals where the toenail on one big toe was black and nasty. It was like he had dropped an anvil on the damn thing. Instead of covering that in as many bandages as he could possibly lay his hands on, as I would, and thus spare the rest of the world from having to look at his nastiness, he must have decided that everyone at Best Buy should also enjoy the nasty blood-blister-filled nastiness.
This is so wrong. It is like men just don’t even bother looking at what their feet look like. I have hideous feet. Therefore, I wear shoes and boots all year ‘round, complete with thick white socks to fully ensure that, should some disaster require me to remove my shoes, my ugly toes are still covered. Most men would just slap on some flip-flops and act like their thick crusted toenails are something for every family to enjoy.
I don’t care how hot it is. If you are building a home on the sun, you should still not be wearing any kind of sandal or flip-flop. The only time some concession on this could be made would be if you are actually at some kind of beach or pool. Then, since bare feet are actually required, some kind of concession can be made for easy-to-remove footwear.
Stop thinking you look cool when you wear those sleeveless shirts and shorts and beat up old flip-flops. You do not. You look like a Hobbit. You look like a nasty, dirty, slobbish Hobbit. You do not look casual. You do not look cool. You look like a mess.
So, please, men, for the sake of the rest of the world, just suck it up and put on sneakers or something. Suffer a little sweaty feet for the sake of the rest of the world not having to stare at your dead skin and nasty toenails. Do this quickly before the summer ends and spread the word.
The one thing that, in particular, stands out as something men should avoid as if their very lives depending upon it, it would be wearing anything that exposes their feet and/or toes. Men, you do not have attractive feet. Let me say that again in case you are skimming and did not read that word-for-word: MEN, YOU DO NOT HAVE ATTRACTIVE FEET! No, none of you. Not a single one. So, my advice is, no flip-flops, sandals or anything that might reveal your nasty, ugly, dirty, gnarly, hairy toes.
Women take pride in their appearance and that extends from the hairs atop their head down to their very toenails. Women go out and get pedicures. They paint their toenails. They spend time with their feet, grooming them and being nice to them and making them look like things you might want to wear in a sandal or open-toed shoes. Men have no such patience. What men are is lazy and so they just take their feet in whatever condition they are in and stick them in a pair footwear that shows off their toes no matter how awful they look.
I have been out and seen a man standing around in sandals where the toenail on one big toe was black and nasty. It was like he had dropped an anvil on the damn thing. Instead of covering that in as many bandages as he could possibly lay his hands on, as I would, and thus spare the rest of the world from having to look at his nastiness, he must have decided that everyone at Best Buy should also enjoy the nasty blood-blister-filled nastiness.
This is so wrong. It is like men just don’t even bother looking at what their feet look like. I have hideous feet. Therefore, I wear shoes and boots all year ‘round, complete with thick white socks to fully ensure that, should some disaster require me to remove my shoes, my ugly toes are still covered. Most men would just slap on some flip-flops and act like their thick crusted toenails are something for every family to enjoy.
I don’t care how hot it is. If you are building a home on the sun, you should still not be wearing any kind of sandal or flip-flop. The only time some concession on this could be made would be if you are actually at some kind of beach or pool. Then, since bare feet are actually required, some kind of concession can be made for easy-to-remove footwear.
Stop thinking you look cool when you wear those sleeveless shirts and shorts and beat up old flip-flops. You do not. You look like a Hobbit. You look like a nasty, dirty, slobbish Hobbit. You do not look casual. You do not look cool. You look like a mess.
So, please, men, for the sake of the rest of the world, just suck it up and put on sneakers or something. Suffer a little sweaty feet for the sake of the rest of the world not having to stare at your dead skin and nasty toenails. Do this quickly before the summer ends and spread the word.
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