MercSix Degrees of Jesse James
September 7th 2008 04:08
Someone did a survey on an internet message board asking if anyone was related to anyone "important". I was particularly astounded by the number of individuals claiming to be related to Jesse James. There were, in total, seven that spoke up about their "great uncle" "Jessie" James.
Now, that's all good and fine, whatever. People will believe whatever Gramps tells them in his pre-hysteria senility. The stories are compelling, and everybody wants to believe Pa-Pa wouldn't lie about helping to break Uncle Jesse out of county lockdown that one balmy summer night in Missouri. Nevermind that Pa-Pa was born and raised in SoCal, he would never embellish the truth to keep his grandkid's interest!
The person mentioned not once but twice that really caught my eye was: King Richard the Lionheart. According to Encyclopaedia Brittanica (yay learning!) "Richard was irresponsible and hot-tempered, possessed tremendous energy, and was capable of great cruelty. He was more accomplished than most of his royal family, a soldier of consummate ability, a skillful politician, and capable of inspiring loyal service. In striking contrast with his father and King John his brother, he was, there seems no doubt, a homosexual. He had no children by Queen Berengaria, with whom his relations seem to have been merely formal."
It is widely believed that King Richard I of England was homosexual. How does one claim to be a direct descendant of a man who produced no heirs, no bloodline? Even if he wasn't homosexual, he had no heirs! King John took the throne after Richard I.
Don't even get me started on the chick claiming to be related to Dracula.
This one, however, is my absolute favorite! Yay! Commentary in red, natch.
Where do I begin...?
My maternal Grandfather invented the M-16, in fact if you look in the handbook, it's him standing there holding it. He also has a statue of him in Europe somewhere-not sure why. His grandmother was a child on the Cherokee Indian Reservation during the Trail of Tears.
Darling, the M16 was developed based on a rifle preceding it and further developed by Colt engineers. No one man "invented" the M16.
On my Dad's side-we're related to Mark Twain (that's not his real name) and to Rudolph Hess-Hitler's right hand man. We found that out through a security clearance check.
Did you know they do genealogy checks during a background check for a Security Clearance? No? Yeah me neither. Because as far as I know, they don't. And further, why would anyone care that someone is related to Hitler's henchman?
My maiden name is Derby-so my Dad is actually heir to the throne for the Earl of Derby in Scotland but SOOOOO many people would have to die first.
And according to my Great Aunt (she's done all the geneology work) we're related to some Nascar Driver and a General who helped split the South during the Civil War.
The South was split during the Civil War? Someone help me out here... I thought the South was pretty united in their efforts to end severe taxation.
And my Uncle played for the San Diego Padre's-or maybe it was their Minor League team. But I know he played for them one way or another.
ETA If you go to Salem, Mass, there's a little area there called Derby-well it has Derby Square, Derby Deli, Derby Inn, the Derby Pier, Derby St, etc...That is all because of my family that came over from the May Flower-I don't know who it was, but I know it's from my family.
Honey, just because your last name is the same as other stuff doesn't mean your family invented, created, founded, or directly affected it. Not every Davis is related to the president, not every Lee is related to the Civil War General, not every Manson is related to the serial killer.
And what is up with not knowing the names of people you claim to be descendants and relatives of?
Oh wait! She forgot somebody!
Oh and I forgot, the city of Compton in California...My Great-Great-Grandfather founded that city.
Yeah, that's something to be proud of, kid.
Although, I did get a kick out of the reply stating the only known famous ancestors were Adam and Eve. Well played, Ma'am.
Now, that's all good and fine, whatever. People will believe whatever Gramps tells them in his pre-hysteria senility. The stories are compelling, and everybody wants to believe Pa-Pa wouldn't lie about helping to break Uncle Jesse out of county lockdown that one balmy summer night in Missouri. Nevermind that Pa-Pa was born and raised in SoCal, he would never embellish the truth to keep his grandkid's interest!
The person mentioned not once but twice that really caught my eye was: King Richard the Lionheart. According to Encyclopaedia Brittanica (yay learning!) "Richard was irresponsible and hot-tempered, possessed tremendous energy, and was capable of great cruelty. He was more accomplished than most of his royal family, a soldier of consummate ability, a skillful politician, and capable of inspiring loyal service. In striking contrast with his father and King John his brother, he was, there seems no doubt, a homosexual. He had no children by Queen Berengaria, with whom his relations seem to have been merely formal."
It is widely believed that King Richard I of England was homosexual. How does one claim to be a direct descendant of a man who produced no heirs, no bloodline? Even if he wasn't homosexual, he had no heirs! King John took the throne after Richard I.
Don't even get me started on the chick claiming to be related to Dracula.
This one, however, is my absolute favorite! Yay! Commentary in red, natch.
Where do I begin...?
My maternal Grandfather invented the M-16, in fact if you look in the handbook, it's him standing there holding it. He also has a statue of him in Europe somewhere-not sure why. His grandmother was a child on the Cherokee Indian Reservation during the Trail of Tears.
Darling, the M16 was developed based on a rifle preceding it and further developed by Colt engineers. No one man "invented" the M16.
On my Dad's side-we're related to Mark Twain (that's not his real name) and to Rudolph Hess-Hitler's right hand man. We found that out through a security clearance check.
Did you know they do genealogy checks during a background check for a Security Clearance? No? Yeah me neither. Because as far as I know, they don't. And further, why would anyone care that someone is related to Hitler's henchman?
My maiden name is Derby-so my Dad is actually heir to the throne for the Earl of Derby in Scotland but SOOOOO many people would have to die first.
And according to my Great Aunt (she's done all the geneology work) we're related to some Nascar Driver and a General who helped split the South during the Civil War.
The South was split during the Civil War? Someone help me out here... I thought the South was pretty united in their efforts to end severe taxation.
And my Uncle played for the San Diego Padre's-or maybe it was their Minor League team. But I know he played for them one way or another.
ETA If you go to Salem, Mass, there's a little area there called Derby-well it has Derby Square, Derby Deli, Derby Inn, the Derby Pier, Derby St, etc...That is all because of my family that came over from the May Flower-I don't know who it was, but I know it's from my family.
Honey, just because your last name is the same as other stuff doesn't mean your family invented, created, founded, or directly affected it. Not every Davis is related to the president, not every Lee is related to the Civil War General, not every Manson is related to the serial killer.
And what is up with not knowing the names of people you claim to be descendants and relatives of?
Oh wait! She forgot somebody!
Oh and I forgot, the city of Compton in California...My Great-Great-Grandfather founded that city.
Yeah, that's something to be proud of, kid.
Although, I did get a kick out of the reply stating the only known famous ancestors were Adam and Eve. Well played, Ma'am.
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