MercOnline Dating Sites
September 9th 2008 21:46
I like to browse sites like OkCupid sometimes because, well, the people who join them are hilarious. Not funny haha. More like funny WTF.
I never understood sites like that. Nor do I get sites like eHarmony and Match.com. You can be the most compatible pair of individuals on the entire planet, but if it ain't there, it ain't there. Simple as that.
Have you ever found yourself in that kind of relationship? You wrack your brain trying to figure out why you're being a snarktastic firebreather at your partner and you can't figure it out. You like the same movies, you enjoy the same activities, you have the same beliefs, and you share the same goals. So WHY isn't it working out?
Chemistry can not be created or matched by filling out and reading through questionnaires that quiz you on past relationships and future hopes and dreams. It just can't. There is no online test that will tell you that when you lock your gaze with that certain someone that sparks will fly, nor can it tell you that you won't be insanely attracted to that know-it-all asscactus that won't shut the hell up already. Attraction is more than skin deep, it's more than personality test deep too. It's damn near soul deep and who has a multiple choice, true or false quiz to determine that??
I found a profile that snagged my attention and I couldn't help but notice that a snarky thought popped into my head with each new "bullet". I just have to share. Because why the hell not.
Commentary in red, natch.
I'm very very...unique is too cliche but I can't find another word right now. Here look at this list off of a profile on another site.
I'm vulgar and I like me that way.
Someone has to like you that way. Might as well be you.
I do have some control and if you're TRULY bothered I can censor myself.
Why? Gonna change yourself for some dink you met off of OkCupid?
I might resent you for being narrowminded though.
And I might resent you for being a hypocritical bitch.
I like to remember the days when I was young and carefree.
What caught my eye about this one is that the person who wrote this "bio" is all of 18 or 19 years old. (I can't remember and am too lazy to go check. Deal with it.)
Maybe I am desperate to be white. Either way it's none of YOUR damn business.
All that came to mind here was "What the ever-loving fuck?"
People I'm in bed with tend to call on God. Quite loudly. Which I think is funny since I'm a confirmed non-believer.
I find myself wondering if they're praising this non-existent God you reference (and took the time to capitalize) or if they're begging Him to please, please release them from the demon.
I like to laugh; a lot of people just aren't funny to me.
Maybe it's because you don't have a sense of humor?
I'm afraid of being hurt again.
Honestly, who isn't at least a little afraid of being hurt? Who sits around going "Zomg I can't wait for my next heartbreak weeeeeeeeeeeeeee"?
I'm alone and I'll probably stay that way for a while.
Hmmm.
I'm DEFINITELY not single by choice.
This struck me as a strange thing to say on a site meant for meeting new people. It is one of those statements that screams desperate no matter which way you slice it.
I'm sick to death of being screwed over.
See: being hurt again.
I can fight for you or against you.
Can't we all just get along?
I fight against you and you're through.
Something tells me no. How can one person be so desperate yet so insanely arrogant in one bio? Are more than one personality typing this at the same time? Is there a fight to the death going on inside this person's noggin?
I'm not a bitch.
I'm THE bitch.
I'd venture to guess the first part is true and the second part makes no damn sense.
Behind my cocky exterior is a scared, shy, little girl.
Again... she goes from arrogant to desperate. Did you hear the *click* between personalities? I didn't.
That little girl can, and will kick your ass.
???
Despite the fact I've been called ugly for 17 years, it still hurts my feelings.
No comment. (Hey, I'm not THAT cruel)
I hate to cry but I tend to do it a lot.
Do you cry whilst engaging in epic battles disguised as a scared little girl? Cause that's some freaky shit.
I'm nice once you get to know me.
Most people don't take the time to know me.
I'm guessing that's because so far, you seem like a raging fire of hot, searing crazy.
I'm slowly learning that's their fuck up not mine.
Bet it ain't.
I contradict myself on the regular.
No, no, I noticed.
It's not your place to make note of that.
Crap. *edits and deletes entire blog entry*
I am violent and I like me that way.
And you wonder why people don't take the time to get to know you?
I like to knit, read, and write. I guess you could call me artsy-fartsy. But please don't. It annoys me. I've recently chosen paganism as my religion of choice and I'm learning new things everyday. I love taking pictures.
So. That is my venture for the day into the world of whatthefuck that is known as free online "dating" sites. Or, as my fiance' likes to refer to them, online sexual predator registries.
I never understood sites like that. Nor do I get sites like eHarmony and Match.com. You can be the most compatible pair of individuals on the entire planet, but if it ain't there, it ain't there. Simple as that.
Have you ever found yourself in that kind of relationship? You wrack your brain trying to figure out why you're being a snarktastic firebreather at your partner and you can't figure it out. You like the same movies, you enjoy the same activities, you have the same beliefs, and you share the same goals. So WHY isn't it working out?
Chemistry can not be created or matched by filling out and reading through questionnaires that quiz you on past relationships and future hopes and dreams. It just can't. There is no online test that will tell you that when you lock your gaze with that certain someone that sparks will fly, nor can it tell you that you won't be insanely attracted to that know-it-all asscactus that won't shut the hell up already. Attraction is more than skin deep, it's more than personality test deep too. It's damn near soul deep and who has a multiple choice, true or false quiz to determine that??
I found a profile that snagged my attention and I couldn't help but notice that a snarky thought popped into my head with each new "bullet". I just have to share. Because why the hell not.
Commentary in red, natch.
I'm very very...unique is too cliche but I can't find another word right now. Here look at this list off of a profile on another site.
I'm vulgar and I like me that way.
Someone has to like you that way. Might as well be you.
I do have some control and if you're TRULY bothered I can censor myself.
Why? Gonna change yourself for some dink you met off of OkCupid?
I might resent you for being narrowminded though.
And I might resent you for being a hypocritical bitch.
I like to remember the days when I was young and carefree.
What caught my eye about this one is that the person who wrote this "bio" is all of 18 or 19 years old. (I can't remember and am too lazy to go check. Deal with it.)
Maybe I am desperate to be white. Either way it's none of YOUR damn business.
All that came to mind here was "What the ever-loving fuck?"
People I'm in bed with tend to call on God. Quite loudly. Which I think is funny since I'm a confirmed non-believer.
I find myself wondering if they're praising this non-existent God you reference (and took the time to capitalize) or if they're begging Him to please, please release them from the demon.
I like to laugh; a lot of people just aren't funny to me.
Maybe it's because you don't have a sense of humor?
I'm afraid of being hurt again.
Honestly, who isn't at least a little afraid of being hurt? Who sits around going "Zomg I can't wait for my next heartbreak weeeeeeeeeeeeeee"?
I'm alone and I'll probably stay that way for a while.
Hmmm.
I'm DEFINITELY not single by choice.
This struck me as a strange thing to say on a site meant for meeting new people. It is one of those statements that screams desperate no matter which way you slice it.
I'm sick to death of being screwed over.
See: being hurt again.
I can fight for you or against you.
Can't we all just get along?
I fight against you and you're through.
Something tells me no. How can one person be so desperate yet so insanely arrogant in one bio? Are more than one personality typing this at the same time? Is there a fight to the death going on inside this person's noggin?
I'm not a bitch.
I'm THE bitch.
I'd venture to guess the first part is true and the second part makes no damn sense.
Behind my cocky exterior is a scared, shy, little girl.
Again... she goes from arrogant to desperate. Did you hear the *click* between personalities? I didn't.
That little girl can, and will kick your ass.
???
Despite the fact I've been called ugly for 17 years, it still hurts my feelings.
No comment. (Hey, I'm not THAT cruel)
I hate to cry but I tend to do it a lot.
Do you cry whilst engaging in epic battles disguised as a scared little girl? Cause that's some freaky shit.
I'm nice once you get to know me.
Most people don't take the time to know me.
I'm guessing that's because so far, you seem like a raging fire of hot, searing crazy.
I'm slowly learning that's their fuck up not mine.
Bet it ain't.
I contradict myself on the regular.
No, no, I noticed.
It's not your place to make note of that.
Crap. *edits and deletes entire blog entry*
I am violent and I like me that way.
And you wonder why people don't take the time to get to know you?
I like to knit, read, and write. I guess you could call me artsy-fartsy. But please don't. It annoys me. I've recently chosen paganism as my religion of choice and I'm learning new things everyday. I love taking pictures.
So. That is my venture for the day into the world of whatthefuck that is known as free online "dating" sites. Or, as my fiance' likes to refer to them, online sexual predator registries.
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Comment by Dilly-icious