Bryan W. Alaspa 1Myspace
September 3rd 2008 15:40
Can someone please explain to me how Myspace can adversely affect a relationship? My fiance and I both have our own page. We don't know each other's passwords, and we are on each others' friend's list. We have not once in our three years together had Myspace drama. How does that even happen?
Let's look at some examples.
And Air Force Airman's "Sweetheart" vents on a message board:
I just caught DF in a lie. My friend just found his new myspace and there is NOTHING about me on it. It says he is single and looking for dating and friends. I texted him and asked him about it because he wouldn't answer my phone calls. He started defending himself saying its old and he doesn't use it. I ended up finding it and its BRAND new and says all this stuff about his new station and his new tattoo and everything. FINALLY a good half hour later he goes "listen it's there if anyone here in my unit needs to get to me .. i don't use it it probably won't get used." So I sent him a long text message (he ignored my call) and all he said back was "whatever jaim" and now he keeps telling me hes busy eventhough he was texting me ALL day. He wont call me and won't answer any of my calls. On top of all this his facebook supposedly got "hacked" which I'm not sure if I believe anymore. On his facebook he is now single and has nothing to do with me. Yet, his status and everything got changed. He claims he can get on but not click anything. I'm not sure I fully believe him after all of this myspace shit. I really don't know what to do or think anymore.
First red flag: someone found a new Myspace page that you didn't know about.
Let's address this. If you are in a real relationship, an equal partnership with someone who values and adores you, you would know about any online activity that involves a social networking site. One would think. Obviously, right? Apparently not.
"SoldiersLove" vented that a girl sent her a link to her apparent boyfriend's unknown Myspace page. She was "devastated". She "can't eat, can't sleep". If you are sent a link by some "random" girl to a page that seems to be run by your loved one, what is the first thing you should do? Vent to a message board? I would think it would be asking your "significant" other about it.
Second red flag: The unknown Myspace profile you just discovered (or were linked to) has nothing about you on it.
How is this one not obvious to everyone? If you are not on his page, that leads me to believe that he does not want the people on his friends list to be aware that you exist.
Third red flag: When confronted about this new profile, he/she goes into defensive mode and/or stops talking to you.
Most liars and cheaters, when confronted with their deceit, tend to turn it around on the victim to make them feel like it is their fault. It is the victim's fault for snooping, for believing someone else, for questioning, for not trusting. Listen, people, if you have to snoop in the first place then your relationship isn't as strong as you want the world to believe anyway. If your significant other flies off the handle because you presented what looks like a valid example of their bad behavior, take that as a sign that something deeper and more sinister is going on. If he/she were innocent, and truly loved you, they would do everything in their power to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were set up. That has its own set of problems, but we'll stay off that tangent for now.
Last red flag: Not only have you discovered this new profile, but mysteriously his Facebook (the other major social networking site) has recently been hacked and the evil hacker, of all things to do to a hacked page, changed his status! OH THE HUMANITY!
Sweetheart, listen, he's a scumbag. Drop him like a bad habit and don't take the 21 days it usually takes to drop a habit to get it done. Drop him now, and find a man who values you and your dedication.
Next example. Ex-boyfriend/Ex-girlfriend drama on Myspace.
You would think, if you had half a brain, that this would not even exist in the real world. Sadly, with high school drama extending far beyond the academic years, it does.
Posted by snowwhite regarding her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend:
it's an ex for 6 YEARS AGO! she wont leave me alone!! i dont give a flying f*** about her drama. why does she write me on my myspace just to PISS me off????!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! ?1??
Honestly? Why do people let this kind of thing rile them up? SIX years ago? You do realize you have the option to not only delete the offending message, but block the offending sender, right? Rocket surgery, it is not.
Here we have a post by RFersGirl
DB's EXGF wrote this on his Myspace:
"Hay Sexi. How have you been?? Well i see you got a new girlfriend and well yess i got a new boyfriend...well for 4 months now anyways. But you will always have a part of me that no one else will and you know what i mean : ) I Miss Ya Man...GOOD LUCK!!!
Love ya Babe"
I am SO PISSED I can barely breathe.
#1) When DB and I first started dating she messaged me on myspace and started asking me a ton of obnoxious questions. I just ignored her and when I told DB he was really annoyed and told me to ignore her because she's insane.
#2) I KNOW DB is going to be SO PISSED when he logs in and sees that. This girl is obviously only TRYING to cause drama. He hasn't even talked to her in over 6 months!!! I'm not mad at him, I know he's going to HATE that she did that, but SERIOUSLY who is that fucking lame that they WANT to cause drama for their exes!?!?!?
Now, I understand people get livid as all get out when an ex of their loved one's contacts said loved one. Well, no, I lied. I don't really understand because I don't see the problem unless he's consistently communicating with her in an inappropriate manner. Trust! We has it!
That being said, ok, some people get upset. I can understand being upset IF she had tried to hit on him ("Hay Sexi" aside). But this message seems, to me, entirely innocent and friendly. She misses him. Ok. I miss a few of my ex's and my fiance knows it. She wishes him luck. I can't read her tone, obviously, so I don't know if she's being sarcastic, but I'm going to assume she means the best since she makes no attempt to "steal" him away or anything.
RFersGirl flips her lid about this. She did the right thing in the beginning when the offender messaged her. She ignored her. Good job. But her second "point" is that she just KNOWS her boyfriend will HATE this and that the girl is only trying to cause drama.
But guess what, darling... she can't cause the drama if you don't rise to the occasion.
RaksGirl:
Sooo this is kinda stupid but it got me pretty heated, this girl that DB used to sleep with (FYI its also his sisters best friend/roommate) "bought" him on myspace in the little own your friends app. Well ok i can deal with that they are still friends, but...she changed his status message to "Quiero besar los labios de una cabra" simply put she wants to kiss the lips of a goat but wtf...is it possible that she is trying to flirt/get his attention and thinking ill be ok with that? i would imagine she meant something else not really a goat but honestly i am not cool with this chick that DB used to sleep with putting i want to kiss anythings lips up on his page!! she has tried similar shit before and im not cool with it, his sister doesnt really like me so im wondering if shes putting her up to this ughhh i really hate his family...the only ones who are pleasant are his grandparents...any ideas ladies? its stupid and i should prolly just let it go but why is it that ex's seem to be like the freakin cockroaches that never die?
*eyes begin to droop half shut, smacks lips out of boredom* Seriously? Some little girl with vindictive issues "buys" your boyfriend and you're flipping it over this? Let it go. Delete the application, ask your boyfriend to do the same if it's that serious. Which it isn't.
True story. Some girl that went to high school with my fiance kept buying him over and over again. I didn't know her. Hell, he couldn't even remember her. Did I get upset? No. I bought all of her friends. I'm maniacal! It took her about a month to be able to afford to buy all her friends back. She never bought him again.
That application seriously irks me. It is so lame. So so lame. People love to use it for snark and vindictiveness.
I have no idea who owns me on it. Or who owns him or who I own. It's not worth my time and it's certainly not worth the energy it would take me to get as worked up as some of those kids do over it.
So that's it for today, chickadees. I'm bored of talking about Myspace. Thanks for listening.
Let's look at some examples.
And Air Force Airman's "Sweetheart" vents on a message board:
I just caught DF in a lie. My friend just found his new myspace and there is NOTHING about me on it. It says he is single and looking for dating and friends. I texted him and asked him about it because he wouldn't answer my phone calls. He started defending himself saying its old and he doesn't use it. I ended up finding it and its BRAND new and says all this stuff about his new station and his new tattoo and everything. FINALLY a good half hour later he goes "listen it's there if anyone here in my unit needs to get to me .. i don't use it it probably won't get used." So I sent him a long text message (he ignored my call) and all he said back was "whatever jaim" and now he keeps telling me hes busy eventhough he was texting me ALL day. He wont call me and won't answer any of my calls. On top of all this his facebook supposedly got "hacked" which I'm not sure if I believe anymore. On his facebook he is now single and has nothing to do with me. Yet, his status and everything got changed. He claims he can get on but not click anything. I'm not sure I fully believe him after all of this myspace shit. I really don't know what to do or think anymore.
First red flag: someone found a new Myspace page that you didn't know about.
Let's address this. If you are in a real relationship, an equal partnership with someone who values and adores you, you would know about any online activity that involves a social networking site. One would think. Obviously, right? Apparently not.
"SoldiersLove" vented that a girl sent her a link to her apparent boyfriend's unknown Myspace page. She was "devastated". She "can't eat, can't sleep". If you are sent a link by some "random" girl to a page that seems to be run by your loved one, what is the first thing you should do? Vent to a message board? I would think it would be asking your "significant" other about it.
Second red flag: The unknown Myspace profile you just discovered (or were linked to) has nothing about you on it.
How is this one not obvious to everyone? If you are not on his page, that leads me to believe that he does not want the people on his friends list to be aware that you exist.
Third red flag: When confronted about this new profile, he/she goes into defensive mode and/or stops talking to you.
Most liars and cheaters, when confronted with their deceit, tend to turn it around on the victim to make them feel like it is their fault. It is the victim's fault for snooping, for believing someone else, for questioning, for not trusting. Listen, people, if you have to snoop in the first place then your relationship isn't as strong as you want the world to believe anyway. If your significant other flies off the handle because you presented what looks like a valid example of their bad behavior, take that as a sign that something deeper and more sinister is going on. If he/she were innocent, and truly loved you, they would do everything in their power to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were set up. That has its own set of problems, but we'll stay off that tangent for now.
Last red flag: Not only have you discovered this new profile, but mysteriously his Facebook (the other major social networking site) has recently been hacked and the evil hacker, of all things to do to a hacked page, changed his status! OH THE HUMANITY!
Sweetheart, listen, he's a scumbag. Drop him like a bad habit and don't take the 21 days it usually takes to drop a habit to get it done. Drop him now, and find a man who values you and your dedication.
Next example. Ex-boyfriend/Ex-girlfriend drama on Myspace.
You would think, if you had half a brain, that this would not even exist in the real world. Sadly, with high school drama extending far beyond the academic years, it does.
Posted by snowwhite regarding her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend:
it's an ex for 6 YEARS AGO! she wont leave me alone!! i dont give a flying f*** about her drama. why does she write me on my myspace just to PISS me off????!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! ?1??
Honestly? Why do people let this kind of thing rile them up? SIX years ago? You do realize you have the option to not only delete the offending message, but block the offending sender, right? Rocket surgery, it is not.
Here we have a post by RFersGirl
DB's EXGF wrote this on his Myspace:
"Hay Sexi. How have you been?? Well i see you got a new girlfriend and well yess i got a new boyfriend...well for 4 months now anyways. But you will always have a part of me that no one else will and you know what i mean : ) I Miss Ya Man...GOOD LUCK!!!
Love ya Babe"
I am SO PISSED I can barely breathe.
#1) When DB and I first started dating she messaged me on myspace and started asking me a ton of obnoxious questions. I just ignored her and when I told DB he was really annoyed and told me to ignore her because she's insane.
#2) I KNOW DB is going to be SO PISSED when he logs in and sees that. This girl is obviously only TRYING to cause drama. He hasn't even talked to her in over 6 months!!! I'm not mad at him, I know he's going to HATE that she did that, but SERIOUSLY who is that fucking lame that they WANT to cause drama for their exes!?!?!?
Now, I understand people get livid as all get out when an ex of their loved one's contacts said loved one. Well, no, I lied. I don't really understand because I don't see the problem unless he's consistently communicating with her in an inappropriate manner. Trust! We has it!
That being said, ok, some people get upset. I can understand being upset IF she had tried to hit on him ("Hay Sexi" aside). But this message seems, to me, entirely innocent and friendly. She misses him. Ok. I miss a few of my ex's and my fiance knows it. She wishes him luck. I can't read her tone, obviously, so I don't know if she's being sarcastic, but I'm going to assume she means the best since she makes no attempt to "steal" him away or anything.
RFersGirl flips her lid about this. She did the right thing in the beginning when the offender messaged her. She ignored her. Good job. But her second "point" is that she just KNOWS her boyfriend will HATE this and that the girl is only trying to cause drama.
But guess what, darling... she can't cause the drama if you don't rise to the occasion.
RaksGirl:
Sooo this is kinda stupid but it got me pretty heated, this girl that DB used to sleep with (FYI its also his sisters best friend/roommate) "bought" him on myspace in the little own your friends app. Well ok i can deal with that they are still friends, but...she changed his status message to "Quiero besar los labios de una cabra" simply put she wants to kiss the lips of a goat but wtf...is it possible that she is trying to flirt/get his attention and thinking ill be ok with that? i would imagine she meant something else not really a goat but honestly i am not cool with this chick that DB used to sleep with putting i want to kiss anythings lips up on his page!! she has tried similar shit before and im not cool with it, his sister doesnt really like me so im wondering if shes putting her up to this ughhh i really hate his family...the only ones who are pleasant are his grandparents...any ideas ladies? its stupid and i should prolly just let it go but why is it that ex's seem to be like the freakin cockroaches that never die?
*eyes begin to droop half shut, smacks lips out of boredom* Seriously? Some little girl with vindictive issues "buys" your boyfriend and you're flipping it over this? Let it go. Delete the application, ask your boyfriend to do the same if it's that serious. Which it isn't.
True story. Some girl that went to high school with my fiance kept buying him over and over again. I didn't know her. Hell, he couldn't even remember her. Did I get upset? No. I bought all of her friends. I'm maniacal! It took her about a month to be able to afford to buy all her friends back. She never bought him again.
That application seriously irks me. It is so lame. So so lame. People love to use it for snark and vindictiveness.
I have no idea who owns me on it. Or who owns him or who I own. It's not worth my time and it's certainly not worth the energy it would take me to get as worked up as some of those kids do over it.
So that's it for today, chickadees. I'm bored of talking about Myspace. Thanks for listening.
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