Bryan W. Alaspa 1Being the nice guy
January 18th 2010 14:50
Nice guys really have earned their reputation. The funny thing is that most women, when you talk to them, tell us men who generally get qualified as “nice guys” that we are exactly what they are looking for. They tell us this as their current boyfriend, bedecked in tattoos, drunk, and probably punching a cat as he talks, walks up behind them to pinch them inappropriately on some naughty part of their body. Some part of them may crave a nice guy, but their lustful side wants the bad boy, the jerk, the ass who is going to unspeakable things to them behind closed doors.
What most women probably don’t know is that us nice guys are more than willing to do those things too. However, we feel that it is more appropriate to do them behind closed doors rather than out at the family reunion, say, or in the middle of a supermarket. We believe in this thing called politeness.
I think this has always been true, throughout the history of man. All of those cave paintings were made by the tribe’s writers and artists at the time. These guys were skinny, probably wore the primitive form of glasses (which was squinting, probably) and stayed home on Friday and Saturday nights making paintings on the wall. The women of their tribe probably said nice things to them (me think of you like brother, being the most common) and then went over to the guy with the huge muscles and the giant club so he could do unspeakable things to them in his cave. I am betting most of the cave paintings, if translated properly, have a very nasty, bitter edge to them and tell a lot of stories about being dumped or not going to the prom.
The problem is that it is easy to lead us nice guys along. We try to be hard-bitten cynical people who have backs and egos of steel. The fact is that the merest insult sends us into weeks-long tizzies where we contemplate suicide in grandiose fashion. Would leaping from a tall building to then get hit, almost all the way down, by a passing EL-train put us on the news and make a statement? At the very least, would it show Sheryl that we were truly sincere and “spontaneous” like she said she wanted last week?
Women also routinely say that they want guys with a great sense of humor. It has been my experience that most of us nice guys have pretty darn good ones. However, the women tend to end up with guys whose sense of humor tend towards AIDS jokes and laughing when someone passes gas. They also tend to be guys who stay out and party all night and become sloppy drunk even though they are rapidly approaching forty.
It is a definite conundrum, especially for us nice guys. I was recently told by a woman I had tried to date that there were no sparks between us. Then, she sent constant mixed signals like she might just give us a shot. Then, suddenly she tells me that she has found someone (someone set off her spark detector) and that he looks just like me! Sure, you aren’t good enough, but your exact clone is. Isn’t that great? She didn’t seem to understand why I found that insensitive, rude and downright cruel.
Then again, women never do. They say one thing, then do the other. That has probably been the rule for all time. I am speaking out now, from the cavemen on, on behalf of the nice guys when I saw, screw you if you can’t figure this out.
What most women probably don’t know is that us nice guys are more than willing to do those things too. However, we feel that it is more appropriate to do them behind closed doors rather than out at the family reunion, say, or in the middle of a supermarket. We believe in this thing called politeness.
I think this has always been true, throughout the history of man. All of those cave paintings were made by the tribe’s writers and artists at the time. These guys were skinny, probably wore the primitive form of glasses (which was squinting, probably) and stayed home on Friday and Saturday nights making paintings on the wall. The women of their tribe probably said nice things to them (me think of you like brother, being the most common) and then went over to the guy with the huge muscles and the giant club so he could do unspeakable things to them in his cave. I am betting most of the cave paintings, if translated properly, have a very nasty, bitter edge to them and tell a lot of stories about being dumped or not going to the prom.
The problem is that it is easy to lead us nice guys along. We try to be hard-bitten cynical people who have backs and egos of steel. The fact is that the merest insult sends us into weeks-long tizzies where we contemplate suicide in grandiose fashion. Would leaping from a tall building to then get hit, almost all the way down, by a passing EL-train put us on the news and make a statement? At the very least, would it show Sheryl that we were truly sincere and “spontaneous” like she said she wanted last week?
Women also routinely say that they want guys with a great sense of humor. It has been my experience that most of us nice guys have pretty darn good ones. However, the women tend to end up with guys whose sense of humor tend towards AIDS jokes and laughing when someone passes gas. They also tend to be guys who stay out and party all night and become sloppy drunk even though they are rapidly approaching forty.
It is a definite conundrum, especially for us nice guys. I was recently told by a woman I had tried to date that there were no sparks between us. Then, she sent constant mixed signals like she might just give us a shot. Then, suddenly she tells me that she has found someone (someone set off her spark detector) and that he looks just like me! Sure, you aren’t good enough, but your exact clone is. Isn’t that great? She didn’t seem to understand why I found that insensitive, rude and downright cruel.
Then again, women never do. They say one thing, then do the other. That has probably been the rule for all time. I am speaking out now, from the cavemen on, on behalf of the nice guys when I saw, screw you if you can’t figure this out.
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